Notes from Dec.'s meeting....

What is the greatest gift you can give your children?

The gift of knowing that they are valued by you and subsequently the Lord.

How do you do that?

1. Time. Time to disciple. (not discipline! Although you must do that too sometimes).

"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." Deut. 6: 4-9

Are you discipling your children or just disciplining them? Just staying home and/or just homeschooling doesn't ensure they are getting the message of how much you value them. Our lives are so busy. Even if you purpose to simplify your life it seems rare to find a time when you aren't "balancing several plates in the air". In the midst of the demands of your household, your school, your family, your church, your friends, (need I go on? :)). Who do your children actually see you value? Who or what do you put first on a consistent basis? Remember, they generally can't see your heart so what do your actions tell them?

We spend so much time preparing and teaching academics. Can you say you spend the same amount of time bringing them up -- discipling them --- in the Lord? Discipling requires time. Time to input. Time to deposit your faith, your love, Jesus' love, Godly wisdom and precepts. Time to listen to them.

Purpose to demonstrate your children¡¦s value them in real ways.
--play a game with them
--go for a walk, one one with each of them
--read a story (not one required by school! :))
--play dolls/army men/restaurant (and don't do email while you do it! :) )
--go on a date with each one
--take someone on an errand when you could have gone alone
--turn off the phone during 'your time'
--watch a movie with them rather than having a movie on so you can get something done.
--Color with them

Other practical ways to demonstrate to your kids that you value them:

2. Practice good listening skills. Stop cleaning. Stop cooking. Stop emailing. Look them in the eyes. Really listen to what they are saying and respond appropriately. (No more, "uh huh. Oh really? You don't say?") You can't do this every time they speak but you can direct your children to share with you at a time that you can devote your full attention to them. If you are characterized by being a good listener, soon your children will be very willing to wait for you because the know the value of being truly listened to.

3. Speak blessing over them. Pray out loud with them, for them, about them. Describe their unique talents. Point them out.

4. Buffer criticism with praise.

5. Prov. 16:21 "Sweetness of the lips increases learning". Speaking gently, with pleasantness. If we think of homeschooling as discipling our children shouldn't we trust and institute the Word? Increase our children's learning by speaking gently.

6. Develop an attitude of gratitude. Live a life of thankfulness. Not only is this Biblical ("In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." I Thessalonians 5:18) it also will model a lifestyle and heart attitude that we want to foster in our children. So be thankful for those dirty hands, those missed math problems, those quarreling children. Those things, those events are an opportunity to mold and teach your little (and not so little!) ones. If they didn¡¦t need to be molded God wouldn¡¦t have given you the task!

7. Tell them! Tell them how much you love them and value them. Tell them how important they are to you and more importantly to God.

8. Ask them. Ask them how you are doing. Ask them who or what they think you value. Their answers, no matter what they are, will be helpful to you. Either as a great encouragement OR as a wake up call to make some changes. :)

9. PRAY. Pray along daily. Seek the Lord. Beseech Him to guide you ¡V your words and your actions. Also daily pray with your kids. Letting them see you seeking the Lord will not only model how to live but also how important they are because they will witness you bringing them to the throne of your Lord.

references:
Sally Clarkson
Teri Maxwell
Numerous Godly women who¡¦ve input into my life. Their names have faded but the Truth they planted has remained. Thank you.